Loneliness they say is a feeling just like hunger or thirst. It is a need that hasn’t been met for connection in your life. That is true, but how can a person feel the loneliest in a crowd?
In my experience it is my perception of the situation that shapes my feelings. Do I perceive others as having better connections, being more interesting or really am I so wrapped up in my feelings that I am not really living in the moment and enjoying the chance to connect?
I suspect that shaping my perception and learning to let go of the need to analyze and compare myself to others is the true root of the problem. In fact, if I say so myself, I think I am being selfish!
I say this with a side note that I have been dealing with chronic depression and firbromyalgia for over 25 years. Our family has had a series of crises that even one of (2nd degree burns, 4 heart attacks, paraplegia, hip disease, colon cancer and heart failure to name a few) would be a challenge to cope with. All of this, while raising a family with four children in very hard economic circumstances. I say this not to use as an excuse but a reason for the challenges in not becoming self centered and self absorbed.
Still, living in life’s past struggles and continuing to echo the pain is not the solution. I have not had the successes in my life that I have by sitting back and not fighting to move forward.
Sometimes, it seems we just let friendships happen. We meet someone in passing and feel a connection and shared interests and we drift into a friendship. I am going to do more.
Here are 5 ways that I am going to build friendships:
- I am going to reach out to friends and family that I have been connecting with again and catch up on their lives. I am going to make opportunities in my life to spend quality time speaking or visiting these friends.
- I am going to find at least 2 positive things in my life to share with others.
- I am going to look outside the box for friendships and seek friendships with those I might not have thought of before. They could be younger, older and maybe even seem like someone that I would normally be comfortable with. (insecurity maybe)
- I am going to relax and try not to take life so seriously and just be myself.
- I am going to fill my mind with positive thoughts by reading, listening and doing things that remind me of the hope for the future I do have.
What do you do to combat loneliness? Please feel free to share any comments.
Michelle
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